Sometimes, anger gets the best of us. It is possible to change your mindset and see things from different perspectives so you can think about how you want to respond.
It's common to have times when little things fly out of proportion and really get to you. Depending on your mood at the time, you could get super-mad.
Out-of-control outbursts can lead to destructive or abusive behaviors with serious consequences. When you have difficulty with healthy expression of your emotions, problems stemming from emotional escalation can infiltrate your life. Your relationships and career can eventually be in danger. You can avoid breaking relationships and getting into thorny legal problems if you address anger problems early on.
Charged reactions have a spectrum of intensity from mild annoyance to strong motivations to take action to intense rage. If you get overwhelmed and have difficulty controlling yourself, you may have a problem. Lashing out every time you get irritated is not helpful or healthy.
Unacknowledged triggers can lead you to impulsive decisions and make you irritable. You may even unknowingly be rude or unfair to your loved ones.
Working on your emotional response helps you see things from different perspectives so you can control and express your feelings better. Once you have another way of seeing situations, you can respond differently and switch from aggressive reactions to being assertive and communicating better.
Your new mindset can allow you to become less overwhelmed by things that used to trigger an unwanted response. When you are slower to escalate, you have the opportunity to think more about how you want to respond appropriately instead of having an automatically programmed response. You can choose to respond in a healthy and constructive way.
Different things can cause unwanted responses. Anger is often called a "secondary emotion" driven by underlying emotions. Your angry reaction could stem from feeling you have lost power or control over your life. Your reaction could come from wounded pride, feelings of injustice, racism, disrespect, discrimination, disappointment, financial issues . . . the list goes on and on. Feeling unheard, misunderstood, or taken advantage of are common underlying causes. Angry reactions can also cover up symptoms of sadness, grief, and fear.
Being angry isn't always a bad thing. How you express yourself and what actions you decide to take will determine whether your response is healthy. Treating anger issues isn't about stopping your angry feelings. Anger is a valid emotion. Dealing with disruptive feelings with healthy thoughts and responses is better for you, your relationships, and your life in general.
If a rising temper is getting the best of you and impacting your personal or professional life, you don't have to suffer through it. Just ask for help. I can help you find solutions that work for you so that you can live a more enjoyable life.
Anger Management Counseling
I don't see anger management in the traditional way. Anger isn't a problem on its own. How you use it that causes problems. Working with a counselor can help you deal with your rising temper and find a healthy response. You can get to understand your triggers and cope with them in a way that moves your life forward. Your therapist can provide support and accountability as you work to change how you think and react so you stay true to yourself and what you want in life.
One-on-one psychotherapy gives you the opportunity to experience treatment tailored to your personal experience. You can get right to the core of your issues and change the impact anger has on your life with anger management counseling online California.
What is anger management therapy?
It is a type of psychotherapy that helps you understand your behavior and develop a healthy relationship with it that allows passion and change. You can learn what it is telling you and make changes, so your life runs more smoothly.
Anger is a normal human emotion but can become problematic when it gets out of control or leads to destructive, unhealthy behaviors. Working with a therapist can help you recognize the signs that you're getting angry and figure out what it means. You find healthy ways of coping that fit with who you are and manage situations that tend to lead to an outburst.
What are the benefits of anger management counseling?
There are many benefits of working with a mental health professional to improve your emotional responses. Working with a counselor can help you understand the purpose of your elevated response, recognize your triggers, and decide how to deal with them in a healthy manner. Treatment can include effective communication, conflict resolution, and lifestyle changes. With different coping methods, there's no need to resort to behaviors that erode relationships and lead to trouble.
Treatment can have a positive impact on your personal relationships. When you are able to express yourself clearly, you will likely argue less with your partner, family, and friends. If you have children, you will probably see their behavior shift as you change how you interact with them. When they see you successfully manage your emotions, they will learn from your actions as a positive role model.
Here are some additional benefits:
- Change your awareness
- Shift your attention
- Improve impulse control
- Increase curiosity about the situations of others
- Find alternative thoughts
- Improve social and communication skills
- Develop empathy
- Deepen awareness of your thoughts, automatic reactions, and emotions
- Familiarize yourself with your body's warning signs
- Recognize the need for boundaries
- Identify unhealthy thought and behavior patterns
- Find solutions that fit your lifestyle
- Develop self-compassion
- Problem-solve recurring situations
- Deal stressors with calm dignity
- Realize your personal needs and get them met
- Effectively manage your emotions
- Improve ability to assess situations
- Find underlying issues connected to your outbursts
- Seeing things from multiple perspectives
Working with a counselor can help you lead a healthier, happier life. If your short fuse is getting in the way of your life, consider anger management counseling online California.
How do I know I need anger management therapy?
While there is no one answer to the question of knowing if you need professional help. You might feel like you can't control yourself in particular environments. You may avoid certain situations and keep your temper under control. Perhaps irritation interferes with your judgment and keeps you from focusing so you can make informed decisions. You may try to ignore your irritation, and it just keeps appearing without a good reason. The more you try to escape it, the stronger it seems to become. You find yourself in a constant state of frustration. It is difficult to be patient with others. You try to control it, but often it's almost impossible. The hostile feelings you experience make you feel like a bad person. You're not. You don't want to be this way. You want a better life.
Here are some more common signs that you may need help:
frequently feeling angry
react to small things
feel out of control
feeling backed into a corner
lack of control
difficulty expressing emotions
difficulty stopping angry behavior
lashing out at others
difficulty maintaining long-term relationships
physical reactions that impact your health, like high blood pressure, headaches, heart problems, or digestion issues
using unhealthy snacks or substances for calming
feelings of shame
guilt for lashing out at loved ones
These things can be a sign that you may benefit from therapy. If you are unsure whether or not you have a problem, consider asking someone close to you about what they notice or speak with a therapist. I offer a free 15-minute consultation. An anger management therapy online California free consultation can help you clarify and decide if you would benefit from therapy.
What should I expect from anger management therapy?
You can expect me to treat you with care and respect. I will never judge you for how you reacted in the past or when you slip up during treatment. Making behavioral changes is a learning process that takes time. Over time, I will support you as you find healthy ways to express your emotions.
You will learn to recognize what precedes outbursts and what helps you calm down so you can communicate before your temper becomes uncontrollable. You can find ways to express yourself without aggression so you can resolve disputes peacefully and with respect.
We will talk about what your triggers are trying to tell you. You may find you need to set boundaries or make lifestyle changes. Inappropriate actions often have roots in parts of your life that aren't working. Together we can explore those problem areas and find solutions that help you move forward.
Managing reactions doesn't mean you won't ever get angry again. You will. Everyone does. It's a natural human emotion we all experience from time to time. The difference is what you will choose to do with your emotional energy. You will be in charge of it instead of it controlling you. You will better understand your anger's message. The end result is to recognize your escalation, express your feelings in safe, socially acceptable ways, and be open to changing what your angry response reveals.
During your sessions, we will explore your mindset, lifestyle, and escalation patterns. We'll work to find strategies, alternative reactions, and actions. You can find personalized solutions that fit your identity and allow you to express yourself without being overpowering, disrespectful, or aggressive.
You'll find ways to take the time to look at the whole picture and the viewpoints of others so you can be more effective. You will have the opportunity to challenge your first thoughts and explore alternatives in challenging situations. You can make changes in your life that make you more comfortable and move you toward your preferred future.
Useful Anger vs. Harmful Anger
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It's when it gets out of control and turns into rage that becomes violent or hurtful that it's harmful. Anger can be a valuable tool of action. Intolerance for injustice can move you to take action to do something to find a solution. Anger that comes from someone telling you you can't do something can turn into super-charged motivation to show them it is something you can accomplish.
It's okay to feel angry. It can be a catalyst for change. It can help you find creative ways to solve problems, make life better for yourself and others and bring people together for a common cause.
I don't want the idea of managing emotions to take the important things anger does away from you. You deserve to be passionate about the things that matter to you. If being angry helps drive you in positive directions, it's serving you well. Not all intense emotions need to be managed. Anger has value.
Getting riled up can do good things. It can show you where your passions lie. It can guide you toward opportunities for self-improvement. Angry feelings can be a sort of "canary in a coal mine" that alerts you to be cautious and take care of yourself. Anger is often present in domestic violence situations and can create the motivation to escape the situation.
What is the difference between prerecorded online courses, in-person programs, and individualized anger management therapy?
Prerecorded courses are those that you can purchase and watch at your pace and convenience. They don't usually offer the opportunity to ask questions or share personal details and experiences. Prerecorded courses may be more affordable and easier to fit into your schedule, but you won't have the opportunity to ask questions or get personalized feedback.
In-person courses require you to attend sessions run by a leader using a curriculum. The training and qualifications of leaders will vary depending on who offers the program. Courses presented in real time may be more expensive and require more time commitment, but they offer the benefit of being able to interact with the leader. Leaders can be lay people, drug and alcohol counselors, social workers, clergy, or psychotherapists. There are benefits and drawbacks to both types of courses.
Both types of courses can give you standardized ideas and information to help you manage your emotional responses. An in-person course might have more flexibility as far as unique solutions. The feedback I hear from clients who have used these programs is that they check the boxes for court-ordered requirements, but they didn't get much helpful information they could apply to their life.
The way I see it, the problem with these programs is that they tend to come from the perspective that something is wrong with you that needs fixing. You are not broken. There may be things in your life that aren't going the way you would like, but you are still a whole person with value. You are not "bad" or "wrong." You need support while you figure out how to meet your needs and increase your quality of life.
Personalized therapy can provide you with solutions to meet your particular needs. You will be working with a trained mental health specialist with the knowledge that connects angry reactions to many different areas of your life.
Individualized Anger Management Counseling
Individualized anger management counseling can help you get your life back on track if you're struggling to keep yourself in check. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for the healthy expression of feelings. If your issues are left untreated, it is unlikely your unhealthy reactions will resolve on their own. It takes conscious attention to detail and the willingness to change to make adjustments to healthy responses. You can change your relationship with anger, so it becomes an asset rather than a problem.
If you are having trouble managing outbursts, anger management counseling online California can help you see your situation differently and find constructive ways to cope. Working with a licensed psychotherapist one-on-one gives you the opportunity to look at your reactions to situations and find solutions that match your personality. You can spend as much time as you want on each situation that is common in your life. You also have the chance to take a close look at your lifestyle and identify what's working and what you want to change. The support and accountability as you work to change your angry behaviors can help you stay focused and meet your goals. The main focus is to help you life the life you want and move toward your preferred future.
Anger Management Counseling Online California
It can be challenging to find a therapist that's a good fit. You want someone you feel comfortable enough to share your innermost thoughts. Studies show that the most important component to successful treatment is the therapeutic relationship.
Depending on where you live in California, there may not be very many therapists available. We are currently experiencing a shortage of mental health professionals throughout the country. You may experience several setbacks before your find a therapist who is compatible with your needs. The more specific your needs, the more time and effort is will take to find a professional with experience treating your specific issues. It is common to reach out to many counselors only to find their calendars are full. If you are able to communicate with a provider who is full, ask for recommendations.
Expanding your search to anger management counseling online California can provide you with a broader range of qualified choices. Working with a therapist online increases your chances of finding a provider who can work with you.