Online Marriage Counseling California
Life transitions and stressors can have a significant impact on your relationship.
When your relationship is heading toward the rocks, you can expect to feel deeply shaken or anxious. When things change or become stagnant, it can feel like you can't find solid ground to stand on. That insecure feeling can lead to the belief that your relationship isn't stable or dependable.
When this change happens, you both have undesirable, intense emotions. Anger, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and resentment can come up. On the other end of the spectrum, one or both of you could experience an emotional shutdown. You might even find yourself being extra careful not to set each other off and start a fight.
Difficult times or relationship storms are normal. Emotions go up and down in different transitional periods of life.
Tough times can come from transitional times in your life. Transitions like relocating, switching careers, starting a family, children entering different developmental stages, job stress or losing a close family member and the grief that follows can shake up your relationship. Communication can become problematic during transitions. The feelings you experience during these times are alerts to pay extra attention to your relationship. Working with a therapist can help you find solutions that take into account what you're going through.
Transitioning to a different kind of relationship can also cause stress and tension. Online marriage counseling can help you sort through how to make open and polyamorous relationships work better. You can figure out just how to structure things, so everyone is comfortable.
Your brain is hardwired for safety and stability. It sends messages to let you know you are entering a risky area and that you should take action. Your relationship is a safety net for your survival. From time to time, your safety net needs attention and adjustment. During the adjustment time, you can feel significant stress.
When you get overwhelmed or enter a shutdown phase, your brain has difficulty functioning. Your prefrontal cortex turns off, and you enter a fight or flight mode. In this mode, your ability to communicate well diminishes significantly. While strong emotions or withdrawing from a situation are normal responses, they make traversing relationship challenges more complicated and can often stop forward progress.
Knowing how your emotions function and managing them is the first step to good communication. With the ability to communicate with a fully functioning prefrontal cortex, you can avoid words and actions that lead to fights and instead have useful, cooperative, and compassionate conversations that lead to collaborative solutions. Online marriage counseling California can help you move toward the relationship you want. Together, you can explore your interactions and emotions. You can get to know each other on different levels.
Are you and your partner revisiting the same fights over and over again?
Intimate relationships aren't romantic all the time. The idea of living happily ever after you learned about in fairy tales, romantic books, and movies doesn't translate to real life. Real life gets in the way. Life isn't all rainbows and sunshine. Bad stuff happens. You will have to make difficult decisions. Many things come up in life you have to address together. Getting on the same page can be tricky if you don't see eye to eye.
If you find yourself in the same arguments with your partner time and time again, it may be time to get some professional help. Together, we can work to stop the repeating cycle and move forward so you can enjoy the good things.
Does it seem like you're talking in circles, and your partner doesn't understand you?
It can be incredibly frustrating when you feel like you're talking in circles and getting nowhere. You don't feel heard when your partner doesn't seem to understand what you're saying. You may start to feel like your partner doesn't care and is deliberately dismissing your viewpoint and ignoring you.
Before giving up, remember that communication is a two-way street. If you're feeling misunderstood, it's possible that your partner is feeling the same way. It can help to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. It can also be helpful to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
If you're constantly discussing the same thing and never moving forward, you might have a larger issue standing in the way. Online counseling can help you see things from several different perspectives. You can explore alternatives together in a safe environment and better understand different ways of thinking.
What is it like to participate in online relationship counseling?
People often ask me, "What is couples therapy like?" While every session is unique, there are basic things that are the same. I am always careful to promote balance and turn-taking. Each of you will get a chance to answer every question. You will both be able to respond and clarify anything you feel is important. My job is to keep the conversation on track so you can experience the benefits of couples therapy.
I use a HIPAA-compliant video conferencing platform, which allows us to see and hear each other in real-time. With both audio and video, we can create a more personal connection than meeting by phone.
You can use a laptop, tablet, desktop, or smartphone. The platform works on Mac or Windows computers, mobile devices, and even smart TVs. You will need to download the platform app, allow the use of your camera, and connect to audio.
Online marriage counseling follows the same process as meeting in person. We begin with a greeting and talk about your progress since the last session. Then we get right into working on what is most important for you to discuss.
Clients throughout California, including Los Angeles, San Diego, Orange County, San Fransisco, Walnut Creek, Encino, and Thousand Oaks, tell me they appreciate how convenient, accommodating, and effective meeting from their home, office, or another private location is for them. Many research studies confirm the efficacy of virtual psychotherapy.
How online couples therapy works.
Finding the time to see a therapist can be challenging when you and your partner are struggling. Online couples counseling provides a convenient solution to help you work through your problems without ever having to leave your home.
During your sessions, we will identify what you want your relationship to look like when it is functioning well. We will explore the details that make your relationship fulfilling. You'll have the opportunity to practice communicating with each other in a safe and supportive environment. Online couples counseling is always inclusive.
What to expect from online relationship counseling.
When you decide it's time to look for an online couples counselor, find a reputable and qualified therapist you feel comfortable working with so you can make progress. Once you have found a therapist that feels like a good fit, you can expect a few things from the counseling process.
Online counseling is completely confidential. What you discuss with your therapist will not be shared outside sessions. This confidentiality helps you both feel safe discussing anything and everything going on may in your relationship.
Virtual Meetings with your couples counselor are very convenient. You and your partner can attend sessions from the comfort of your own home, saving you time and money on travel costs and childcare.
Working on your relationship virtually using teletherapy is just as effective as traditional in-person psychotherapy. Studies show there is no difference in outcome between in-person and teletherapy. It is an effective way to improve communication, strengthen bonds and resolve conflict. Some people feel more comfortable meeting virtually than in-person.
The purpose of counseling is the same. We will work to improve your interpersonal relationship, enhance communication, increase connection, gain insight, improve understanding and awareness, and strengthen your overall emotional well-being. You can live the life you want together with some adjustments and attention to detail.
Each person in a relationship is unique.
In any relationship, it is essential to remember that each person is unique and has different needs. The value of being unique can be challenging to recognize when disagreements arise, but it is crucial to try to see things from your partner's perspective. One way to do this is by communicating openly and honestly with each other.
It is impossible for one person to meet all of your needs. Everyone needs a variety of people in their life. However, your partner is your main person, and if you can communicate your needs clearly, they will have a much better chance of being able to help you meet them.
Each of you is unique. You need a therapist who understands there are no "one size fits all" answers. I value unique solutions and don't do manualized psychotherapy where every session is pre-planned.
My clients appreciate the flexibility to use online relationship counseling sessions for what is most important at the moment. They often tell me I'm easy to talk to and make them feel comfortable enough to talk about anything. I work to maintain mutual respect, ensure a collaborative process, come from the heart, and find solutions that fit your particular situation.
Online marriage counseling California can help you meet your individual needs while nurturing your relationship with your partner. Finding a balance between how you spend time together and with others can strengthen your relationship. It cn also give you both individual experiences to share with each other to keep your conversations fresh and interactive.
Enjoying separate activities lets you both enjoy interests you don't have in common. You don't have to give up your passions and hobbies to have a successful relationship.
Rediscover the joy and connection you remember.
When you first got married, everything was new and exciting. You were so immersed in each other, and every moment was special. Over time, life happens. You get busy with work and family obligations, and suddenly you find yourself arguing a lot or barely talking, let alone being intimate. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Over the past few years, surveys show that 50 - 60% of married couples are unhappy with their relationship.
There is hope! Counseling can help you rediscover the joy and connection you remember when you first married. You can start to feel closer to your partner again, re-ignite the spark, and deepen the connection in your relationship.
Online Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling is an intelligent step for couples considering marriage. It is a safe place to discuss expectations, hopes, and fears about entering a long-term relationship. It can help you see issues and identify blind spots before your wedding. You can compare it to preventive medical care, a check-up to see that everything is going well, and to catch anything that may cause problems in the future while it is small and easier to treat.
Premarital counseling helps you identify potential conflict areas and find strategies to resolve them. You can explore essential topics such as communication, finances, and decision-making processes. Counseling sessions allow you to look closely at your relationship and create a mindset to help you avoid significant conflict in the future. You can learn to navigate simple challenges that could grow into complicated issues over time. The goal of premarital counseling is that you begin your marital relationship with realistic expectations and knowledge about how to approach disagreements in healthy ways.
Studies show that couples who participate in premarital counseling are more apt to have lasting relationships. Their relationships are 30% less likely to divorce than couples who don't get counseling. Working on your relationship up front is an investment in your future together.
Through premarital counseling, you can gain insight into each other's beliefs and values while learning to communicate effectively. You can begin to develop skills that will help you navigate through difficult times. Times get tough in every marriage. It's easier to get through together if you have established a strong partnership.
Online couples counseling for ADHD
ADHD is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that can present unique challenges in relationships. Counseling can help you communicate effectively, set boundaries, and manage conflict. It can also create a safe place to discuss needs and find ways to support each other.
If you or your partner has been diagnosed with ADHD, be upfront about your symptoms and experiences when you meet with your therapist. ADHD can make it difficult to focus, so putting a system in place to manage daily life situations, such as setting reminders, taking breaks as needed, creating boundaries, and clarifying needs, can go a long way to reducing conflict.
Communication can be an issue when neurodiversity is involved. Online couples counseling for ADHD can help you find ways to communicate that work for both of you. It can also highlight how you express yourselves differently so you can better recognize what your partner is trying to communicate.
If your relationship has eroded and you feel like your ADHD partner doesn't care about you, we can address your concerns and work on solutions. When your partner doesn't follow through, doesn't listen, or seems to forget everything important to you, it's not personal. They have a neurological difference that gets in the way.
Your relationship suffers because of ADHD can cause distress for both of you. It may seem impossible to have the relationship you want when ADHD gets in the way. I can help both of you find ways to cope and reduce the harmful impacts ADHD has you your partnership.
Neurodiversity is a strength, not a weakness. Find ways to embrace your differences and work together as a team. With understanding and communication, you can live together in harmony.
Individual marriage therapy to decide whether you should stay married
It can be confusing and overwhelming when you question if you should stay in your relationship or get divorced. Online marriage counseling California helps you take a thorough look and explore your options. psychotherapy can support you as you go through the process.
You can go through the decisioning making process with your partner or by yourself. Wegenerally start by meeting separately so you feel more comfortable sharing your viewpoint and experiences. If your partner participates, we will schedule couples sessions when appropriate. The main focus is to hone in on your best hopes and how your relationship fits with what you want for your life together or apart.
If you are on the fence about your relationship, this process can help bring you clarity. It can help you communicate openly about your feelings, explore options, and figure out if there's anything worth salvaging in your relationship. We can also discuss what you want your relationship to look like after divorce and co-parenting.
Considering divorce is a complicated decision-making process. There are many factors to consider. You'll also need to take into account your financial situation, personal property, and whether you have children together. Ultimately, the decision to stay married or get divorced is a personal one that only you and your partner can make.
Online Marriage Counseling California
Convenient and effective therapeutic support is available wherever you are in California. If you are interested in online couples counseling, help is just a click away. Here are some areas in California I regularly see clients for virtual couples sessions:
I offer a free 15-minute consultation
to give you the opportunity to meet me,
and see if you feel comfortable working with me.